Gameday in a Rush
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The game is at noon, somebody already asked what you're bringing, and it's currently 9:00 in the morning.
This is a list for just that morning: six things built around a jar of salsa and organized by how much effort you're willing to spend. None of them require a recipe card, and the best one on the list requires nothing more than the ability to open two containers.
Things that take no time at all
The cream cheese block
Set a block of cream cheese on a plate. Pour a jar of salsa over it. Put chips next to it. That's the entire process, and it will be gone before anything else on the table.
This is the most-made appetizer in America that nobody ever writes down, and it works with every one of our flavors. Medium is the safe call. Peach is the one nobody expects, and it's the version people ask about afterward. The sweetness plays against the cream cheese in a way the tomato-only flavors don't. If you're bringing one thing and you want it remembered, bring that one.
Let the cream cheese sit out for twenty minutes before serving so it's soft enough to scoop.
If you want a dip instead of a block, drain the salsa in a strainer first and beat it into the softened cream cheese with a hand mixer for about thirty seconds. You get something smooth that stays on a chip, which is the better call if you're serving a crowd and the plate is going to sit out. Draining is not optional here; undrained salsa turns the whole thing loose and it won't set back up.
A jar and a bag
Salsa in a bowl. Chips beside it. This counts, and anyone who tells you otherwise is welcome to bring something better.
There is no version of a tailgate where a good salsa goes untouched. The only real decision is which one, and if you're feeding a crowd with unknown tolerances, put out Mild and Hot side by side and let people sort themselves out.
If You've Got Fifteen Minutes
Four-ingredient guacamole
This is the one worth learning, because it's better than most guacamole made from a long recipe and it takes about as long as opening a bag.
You need four ripe avocados, three-quarters of a cup of Blue Smoke Salsa Hot, one and a half limes, and a half teaspoon of kosher salt.
Spoon the salsa into a fine mesh strainer and let the loose liquid drain off for a minute — you want roughly a half cup of solids left. That step matters more than it sounds like it should, because the liquid is what turns guacamole soupy, and soupy guacamole doesn't survive a chip.
Mash the avocados to whatever texture you like, chunky or smooth. Fold in the drained salsa, the lime juice, and the salt. Taste before you add more salt, because the salsa is already seasoned, and it's easy to overshoot.
The Hot is doing all the work here. The jalapeño heat, the sweet onion, and the tomato are already balanced in the jar, which is why this needs four ingredients instead of nine. The lime is doing double duty — it brightens the fat, and the acid slows the browning, which matters when this is sitting on a folding table for an hour. Use fresh limes. Bottled tastes different, and there's nothing else in the bowl to hide behind.
Serves four to six. Press plastic wrap directly onto the surface if you're making it ahead. Keeping it chilled also helps delay browning.
Slow cooker queso
A block of Velveeta or white American cheese, cubed, and a jar of Medium salsa. Slow cooker on low, stir every twenty minutes until it's smooth, then leave it on warm.
The advantage here is specific to tailgating. Queso made on a stovetop firms up and turns grainy the moment it cools, but a slow cooker running off a portable battery or an inverter will hold it at the right consistency for four hours. It's the only hot item on this list that doesn't demand you stand over it.
Cold black bean dip
One can of black beans, rinsed and drained. A cup of Mild or Medium salsa. A half cup of sour cream. Stir it together and chill it.
This is the one that covers the person at every tailgate who doesn't eat meat and has been living on chips since kickoff. It travels better than anything else on the list, it doesn't need to be kept hot or cold within a narrow window, and it gets better after a few hours in the cooler.
Worth the Time
Salsa chicken sliders
Put two pounds of boneless chicken breasts and a jar of Medium salsa in a slow cooker before you leave the house. Low for four hours. That's the whole preparation, and it happens while you're doing something else.
At the tailgate, shred the chicken with two forks right in the cooker and stir it back into the sauce. Serve on Hawaiian rolls with whatever you have — shredded cheese, a spoonful of sour cream, pickled jalapeños if you thought ahead.
This is the item that changes your reputation. Everybody else brought a bag of something. You brought food that had to be started in the morning, and it took you about ninety seconds of actual work.
What to Else to Pack
A cutting board, one good knife, a can opener, and a stack of paper plates covers almost everything here. Bring more chips than you think you need, because chips are the constraint on this entire list and nobody has ever brought too many.
And bring the jar itself rather than decanting into a container. Somebody is going to ask what's in the guacamole, and it's easier to hand them the jar than to explain it. Plus, we'd love being introduced to a new fan of Blue Smoke Salsa.
Mild, Medium, Hot, and Peach are all available here, with free shipping over $75. If you'd rather not wait on the mail, ask for Blue Smoke Salsa by name at your nearest retailer.